Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize