Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my shit smells like andre
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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