Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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