So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
