its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
