he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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