thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize