i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
