His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
