and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
