Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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