Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
