He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have already put on my inside pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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