I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
