You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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