You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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