I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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