I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We need to rekindle our bromance
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
