how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize