it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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