You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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