True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
