so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
