DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize