Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
