Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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