Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
