your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
