I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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