Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
