I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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