So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Boobs speak an international language.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
