I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
