wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
