You just made me feel so damn special
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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