I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My dick has a subreddit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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