I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
