Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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