I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
