It's like God shit irony all over that family
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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