dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
