I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think your dad took our porno
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
