There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
