I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
