after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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