Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
