I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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