She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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