remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
