addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
