that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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