isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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