no. you can't hotbox the world.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize