Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
