I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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