hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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