I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
