I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
