I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
