I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
