carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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