you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
