My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
