i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They are going to name an STD after you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
