brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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